


Caveat Emptor

by Barb Cummings (Rahirah)



Series: The Barbverse [41]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Domestic, F/M, Fluff, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-15
Updated: 2009-11-15
Packaged: 2017-10-02 23:18:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rahirah/pseuds/Barb%20Cummings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This story is set in the same universe as <em>A Raising in the Sun</em>, <em>Necessary Evils</em>, et. al. (See the <a href="http://sleepingjaguars.com/buffy/viewpage.php?page=timeline">Barbverse Timeline</a> for specifics.)  It contains spoilers for previous works in the series. This story was written for the LiveJournal community "ficformona" and for the Kink Prompt Ficletathon, and uses the prompt "Domesticity."</p>
    </blockquote>





	Caveat Emptor

**Author's Note:**

> This story is set in the same universe as _A Raising in the Sun_, _Necessary Evils_, et. al. (See the [Barbverse Timeline](http://sleepingjaguars.com/buffy/viewpage.php?page=timeline) for specifics.) It contains spoilers for previous works in the series. This story was written for the LiveJournal community "ficformona" and for the Kink Prompt Ficletathon, and uses the prompt "Domesticity."

Spike was in Hell. He had often suspected that would be his ultimate destination, but oddly, he had never anticipated that Hell would feature fluorescent lighting and entire walls devoted to a vast selection of the ponciest eyewear on the West Coast. Now he was here, it all made perfect sense.

"Ooh, what about these?" Her Infernal Majesty Satan, aka Buffy, plucked a pair of tortiseshell frames from the nearest rack and held them up with a critical pursing of lips. "Hugo Boss. They're on the cuteish."

"They're sodding nerd glasses!" Spike protested.

"Nerd glasses are in. Bend your head and let me see."

Spike complied with an exasperated growl. Buffy slipped the glasses onto his nose, and leaned against the service counter with a contemplative frown, one forefinger tapping her chin. "Different, but not bad. Bit of a tenth Doctor vibe."

"Don't think so," Spike snapped, whipping the offending lenses off. "That show hasn't been worth tuppence since they stopped filming in quarries."

"You are so fussy!" Buffy turned back to the rack, surveying the towering ranks of frames like a general reviewing the troops before zeroing in on a sleek Tommy Hilfinger number. "Oh, now, _these..._"

"Will get me a broken nose in every bar from here to Santa Barbara. Even if I'm not wearing 'em."

"Just try them on." Buffy adjusted the earpieces, her face lighting up. "Oh, those are adorable! What do you think?"

Spike pointed sullenly at the try-out mirror where his reflection wasn't. Buffy rolled her eyes and dug her cell phone out. "Not there, silly." She snapped a picture and held the phone up. Spike recoiled in horror.

"OK, I admit they're a skinch emo," Buffy said with the tolerant smile of a woman who was perfectly capable of comparing the minuscule differences between model #11B-X12 and #11B-X13 for the next four hours, and enjoying it. "Maybe we should stick to wire-rims. If it's not broken..."

Spike grasped desperately at the straw that offered. "Look, they're just bloody reading glasses! I hardly ever use 'em and it's not like my eyes change and my old pair's perfectly good yet - "

Buffy planted both fists on her hips and matched him glower for glower. "Your old pair is A) falling apart, B) stolen fifteen years ago from someone you killed, and C) not even your right prescription. Am I wrong? I'll take the sound of teeth grinding as a no." She gestured imperiously at the next rack. "Come on. We haven't tried any of these yet." At Spike's mutinous expression, she raised an eyebrow. "Do I have to go over this again? Vampire in cute glasses, sexy. Vampire with an eyestrain headache? Not sexy. Not to mention highly annoying."

Spike's shoulders slumped in defeat. "And I thought Angelus was a master of torture."

Her eyes sparkled. "Just wait till I get you to Men's Clothing. I'm thinking French cuffs."

END


End file.
